#my crap writing

[nothingbutnowhere]

I'm just imagining getting Simon to take better care of himself. Which includes using actual cleanser instead of scrubbing his face with dish soap to get the eyeblack off, using proper moisturizer so his face doesn't get so itchy under the mask, and treating his acne. Salicylic acid proves to be not enough, so you show him how to use benzoyl peroxide. ("A little goes a long way, so I better not see this half empty tomorrow.")

And it's working! His skin is looking better and he even seems pleased about it!

Eventually he's called for a mission and you send him off with his skin care, making him promise to use it, and to get home safe.

24 hours later your phone pings in Simon's special ringtone. You hurry to check the message. And burst out laughing at the picture of his mask laying on the bed, face print bleached orange from the benzoyl peroxide.

Another message pings, this time from Johnny, a picture of Simon looking confused with his bleached mask on.

"were callin him lt pumpkin now"

...

More Simon: masterlist

I do NOT consent for my works, part of my works, or my ideas to be used for ANY form of AI.

[teamdarkweek]

Team Dark appreciates their fans in their own way, we are assured.

Team Dark Week runs from 1st - 7th of February. Pinned for details if you want to check it out!

[varganardi]

Idk who needs to hear this, but

Whenever I see a self ship double, or a popular canon x f/o ship and feel sad/insecure about it, I like to imagine that it's an "alternate universe", meaning that it's just a different version of your f/o.

The real version? They're with you. They're yours, and love you only.

No one can change that fact.

They love you, so damn much.

No one else - nothing else - matters.

YOU are their canon partner.

"I am my f/o's canon and real partner" - say it, manifest it, because it's true.

It's real. 💕

[Pr0ship DNI. Please respect my boundaries]

[dear-ao3]

Some fanfiction authors are actually insane, I started reading a fic those days with ~87k and only 8 chapters and the author promised more chapters soon and I'm just ... Do you guys sleep? Do you guys get a warm meal? Pls go to sleep.... I commented in every chapter but for the love of God take care of yourself!

i think i once wrote a 40k fanfic for a fandom i wasnt in entirely out of spite in about 2 weeks so. no. none of us are ok.

[mawofthemagnetar]

The door to Doc’s lab squeaked open, and Etho shuffled in lazily. The man himself was standing at a lab bench, fiddling with something- on the bench beside him, a machine the size of a filing cabinet was whirring away noisily. Etho paid it no mind.

“Got the last of ‘em for ya.” He said, holding up a jar of blue slime and giving it a shake, “The last artifake.”

“Perfect,” Doc rumbled, peering in at something through a microscope.

“So, uh, do we have an answer? About the Iskallium eye?”

“Hmm? Yeah, we do. That’s definitely Iskall’s eye. Same materials, same composition, same power supply- matches all the diagrams he gave me when asked. Only difference is, all the artifakes are beat to hell. I don’t know what could possibly have caused these dents, man. Does Tango-?”

“Tango is saying the same thing Tango said yesterday, which is, quote, “they came with the dungeon!” Etho rolled his eyes, leaning up against a workbench that was cluttered with his hard-won artifakes, “So, ah, any luck? I’m risking my life in there for this, you know that, right?”

“You’ll respawn,” Doc muttered, holding a hand out and waggling his fingers. Etho dropped the jar of speedy slime into Doc’s metal palm with a clank, and Doc moved whatever he was examining off the microscope and set about preparing another slide.

“So,” Doc said, “There is a commonality, across all items.”

“Oh?” Etho echoed, hopping up on a bench and shoving a well-loved pickaxe out of the way, “And what’s that?”

“A dusty...residue...thing. Tastes and smells like spent gunpowder, like a rocket that’s just been fired,” Doc said, dropping a slipcover on top of the slide, “It’s fine, particulate residue.” Doc shrugged, and slid the sample of slime onto his microscope, peering in for a closer look.

“And it’s...EVERY artifake, you said?”

“And every artifact, I’ll bet. Keralis’ slippers were a goldmine- just choked with the stuff. Seriously. I put them into a bag and shook them and a ton of that dust came out.” Doc twiddled the focus knobs, and sighed.

“There's more of it. Man, and it's even, like, mixed into the slime! I’m gonna have to ask Jevin for a sample when he’s around next so I can compare.” Doc nodded, and Etho smiled behind his mask.

“Soooo... that’s it, then? The mystery of where the heck Tango got all these artifacts from is...magic dust, I guess?”

The machine dinged, like an egg timer, and printed something out on a long strip of paper. Doc extracted it, and started to read over his results.

And as his eyes scanned down the page, he went very, very still.

“Doc? What’s happening?”

“Etho. Composition of this dust...it’s rock.” Doc said slowly.

“...Rock dust? And?”

“Roughed edges. This rock has never seen water.”

“...Which means...?”

“This rock hasn’t been oxidized. Predominantly...reduced. No clay, no mica...which means...”

“Doc!” Etho sighed, “What are you trying to say, here?”

“Every single one of these artifakes is covered in moon dust.” Doc said flatly.

Etho swallowed.

“Wherever the dungeon is getting these artifacts-” Doc started, hands trembling.

“-Is someplace we didn’t get lucky last season.” Etho finished, "Ah. O...kay."

Both men stared at the jar of slime in silence.

“...Cool. Well, anyway, have fun with your crisis. I’ve got three more frozen shards left!” Etho said cheerfully, and he skipped out the door.

[katiekatdragon27]

Hey can you stop cooking with your ships and art? I can't eat it all and I want to hoard it!!

(positive btw! Keep up the great work - 🪣!)

Awwwww!! Don't you worry, you'll have plenty of food for the winter with me as your chef (I say after starving y'all for like two weeks sorry chat I've been traveling).

Since I have been working on some projects n stuff, I haven't been doodling as much. However, I managed to scrap this together for y'all to chew on while I cook some other stuff lol.

THEIR SHIP NAME IS FLAMING FASHION FRENZY NOW I'VE DECIDED I'M THE CEO OF THIS SHIP I WILL TAKE NO ARGUMENTS AGAINST THS ARRANGEMENT!!!

I was inspired by a reflectivedetective ship chart for all the doodling on the page. I don't remember who made it, but if someone knows them lmk please🙏🙏

Below are close-ups of the doodles n stuff:

(If anything is hard to read, feel free to ask me what it says)

This was so fun to do. Can you tell who is the Hallmark PDA couple and who's the couple who bickers like an old married couple all the time?

Shrimpo and Razzle don't know this, but Glisten is trying to set the two up together so they can be an official throuple. The only person who knows this is Dazzle, who is also in on it lol (she just wants Razzle and Shrimpo to stop fighting all the time).

Also thank you @/rainbow-wolf120 for all the feedback regarding Razzle, Dazzle, and Shrimpo's dialog. Had to consult the expert for them.

And here are some close ups of their pfps. I worked hard on them, and I wanna show them off.

If you read all this and support my vision, ily let's get married platonically /lh

Have a good one fellas!!

[shevr]

stuck lid hack

[seraphic-sibyl]

There are two wolves within you. One of them just came up with a fanfic you desperately need to see, and the other refuses to write it.

[paimonial-rage]

procedural - alhaitham

[random writing event] | requested by @crane1000

Being known as one of those more free-spirited sort, you were never one for schedules. It wasn’t that you had anything against them. You just found it difficult to devote yourself to doing things at a set time on a set day was rather constricting. So when you were hired to work as the Akademiya’s scribe’s assistant, you were in for a whirlwind of change. Alhaitham was scheduled. Procedural, even. And he made sure you were too.

With Alhaitham, work started at 9am sharp. After half an hour of reviewing his intray, he would start on drafting proposals, copying documents, and creating lists. It was your job to maintain and organize the many papers that passed through his hands. Lunch was taken at noon on the dot. After, you would be out and about passing correspondence, picking up new books from the House of Daena, and communicating with the other departments. Once 5pm hit, you were finally released.

Through everything, Alhaitham prized efficiency and efficacy above all else. And though it took time to get used to his spartan ways, you could see the value in following his work style. Everything made sense. That is, mostly everything. When you sat down and really thought about everything, though, you couldn’t help but feel that there was something… odd about the way he did a few things.

Ever since you started, Alhaitham began eating out for lunch almost everyday, always inviting you along. Which was weird because you heard he usually brought lunch made by his roommate. You didn’t think it was too strange at first. You were friends with Alhaitham during your student years, after all. He probably wanted to catch up. But to continue on for a few months…?

It didn’t help that you did much of the talking at lunch. Sure, you were extremely talkative, but you thought he’d surely get tired of listening to you ramble on by now. But no, no matter how much you babbled about, he’d always respond with some intelligent response showing he was listening to you all along. That wasn’t even considering the way he opted to sit next to instead of across from you. Were you that interesting to listen to?

Then there was the way he’d actually listen to and take the random advice you’d give. The new fountain pens upon his desk were suggested by you, as were the coffee beans he now used at home. He let you drag him to new restaurants at lunch and borrowed the books you raved about in the House of Daena. You never heard of him doing this for anyone else.

And lastly…

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yep! Just finished packing up,” you replied, standing up from your desk. “Let’s go.”

As that classes were finally finished for the day, the Akademiya was abuzz with students. In the back of your mind, you had no doubt that the streets of Sumeru City would only be busier seeing that most people were finally leaving work.

“You don’t need to walk me home,” you began with an apologetic laugh. “It’s probably going to take a while.”

“It’s fine,” he replied. “Besides, weren’t you the one that insisted on finishing your story earlier?”

“Oh, you’re right!” You exclaimed. “So what happened next was…”

As you chatted about the happenings and various gossip that managed to find their way into your nosy ears, at some point your hand found its way into his. It often happened seeing that the busy roads often pushed and shoved you about. And as kind as he was to help you, you couldn’t help but feel that it was, like all the other things, unnecessary.

“Why are you so nice to me?” You found yourself asking when you finally reached your home.

Though his eyes widened for a moment, they soon narrowed as he crossed his arms as if observing you.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

You paused in thought.

“Because you see me as a friend?” You asked curiously.

You were met with a long exasperated sigh.

“Sure, let’s say that,” he finally said as he turned to leave. “Rest well.”

As you waved him goodbye, you couldn’t help but let out a sigh to yourself. Oh well. You’ll figure out his secrets some other time.

[paimonthearchivist2]

the issue with tumblr queers (especially the white ones) is that you understand that fascism is bad, but you refuse to understand how it operates. every 3 years people decry the last fascists and unite under the banner of the new ones. sure, now we all agree transmeds, or aphobes, or terfs, or exorsexists, or panphobes, or any other stupid discourse sides i've forgotten, are all bad people, but when your favourite popular transfem tells you that actually, trans men don't matter because [literally reworded terf shit], you all go wow, i can't believe i never realised this, and the whole thing starts all over again. i wonder, in a year when the baeddels are up on that list, who's going to be next? will it be me? you? i'm trying to do a "first they came for the socialists" thing here but honestly? i don't think it'll happen again. we are literally out of identities right of the G to delegitimize at this point. which is kind of fitting, isn't it? the collapse of fascism is always when there's no more enemies left to fight, nobody left to demonise, no common-threat.

[short-wooloo]

There are a million and nine reasons why I hate the "anakin has x personality disorder" takes (mostly because people treat it like it's textual fact and not just their fanon interpretations), but by far the thing I hate most about them is like 70-80% of the time the "evidence" for it (no matter the disorder whatever the armchair psychologist pulled out of the hat this week) always seems to be "Anakin gets angry sometimes"

[royalarchivist]

Mouse is less than 1000 subs away from breaking the record for Twitch's highest sub count ever! Go show her your support!

[the-dose-makes-the-poison]

Hidden in a secret place, Somewhere Between half-light and half-darkness, Between pain and tenderness, Between adoration and contempt, Between indifference and love, My trembling heart is waiting To be found and touched by you.

— the-dose-makes-the-poison

[lockheed-martin-unofficial]

My headcanon is that the average body temperature of cybertronians isn’t necessarily extremely cold or extremely hot. Their spark (+ engine if they have one? I have no idea, entirely different can of worms) and therefore their chests & maybe heads would be very warm, but limbs would get colder very quickly the farther they are from that core. In comparison, a human’s body temp is far more uniformly distributed.

I imagine they usually recycle at least some of their excess body heat into energy similar to the way some cars charge their batteries while braking, but when they’re generating too much heat or when they don’t need it (maybe the environment is already hot, they’re doing a lot of activity or they are trying to recharge) they’ll just vent it out using cooling fans. Depending on the season, this might be great for a human trying to sleep beside them or really annoying.

I would guess that heat bothers them more than cold (Starscream being an outlier, he probably just likes to complain since planes are SUPPOSED to be in very cold temperatures always) since they can walk around in space just fine, so I imagine em just going “yknow what. Fuck it.” And maxing out their cooling fans while they try to recharge. Or whenever it’s remotely warm. It is very loud.

I don’t know enough about cars to say this confidently but you know how in some small cars maxing out the air conditioning will cause a noticeable power reduction? That probably wouldn’t happen as much with an alien robot, but imagine a relatively smaller and younger cybertronian able to either move around or cool down, never both at the same time. It’d be funny methinks. Everybody else laughs at them.

Makes me wonder how their relationship with water would be. I doubt cybertronians would rust easily, so it’d be funny to go for a walk by the lake one morning and see a bunch of cars just standing halfway in the water with steam evaporating from them. Robots In Disguise™️ trying to cool down. I’m gonna draw a comic about that eventually.

Team Prime deserves an industrial grade pressure washer. Let Miko wield it. As a treat. She’s fully sane and can be trusted with ice cold pressurised water to blast her robot pals with. Also maybe Jack and Raf occasionally.

[weedle-testaburger]

the entire doctor who fandom @ steven moffat rn:

[supreme-leader-stoat]

No more wizarding schools. Wizarding schools, while occasionally fun, have been done to death and back to the point that I wouldn't be surprised if there's some story out there about a school specifically for liches.

Now, Barbarian School, that's some unexplored territory.